I came to the realization recently that I've been too inwardly focused
By that I mean I've been really obsessing over things that I want to improve about myself and how am I going to do that all but also I have ideas I'm trying to bring into fruition and the pieces just won't quite work together but also -
Anyway, the point is, I've been a little self-obsessed, to put it bluntly.
It's all... OUT THERE...
So... I'm trying - trying - my darndest to keep my focus outward throughout the day. You know, actually putting into practice all of that mindfulness meditation stuff.
My goal is to become really fascinated in things happening around me. Anything can be interesting if I open myself up to it. All too often, I retreat into my own mind and follow down trains of thought that often are anxiety inducing. It'll probably be healthier for me.
There's a part inside that's like, "No no no, we need to do all that thinking because that's how we will SOLVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS THAT HAVE BEEN PLAGUING MISTER BRAINSTEM why do you hate Mister Brainstem?" but you know... I think I need to do less thinking.
Yeah, there are definitely conundrums rattling around my brain that I really, really want a solution to, but running circles 'round my noggin like a hamster wheel is only making things worse. So, it's time to look outward. Pay attention. Listen. Dammit.
I hear that voice of yours getting ready to say, "Um, Drew, you're really bad at keeping in touch with people, are you going to be more active on social media or like actually reaching out or what?" and my answer to that is...
No. I'm still going to be bad at keeping up with people. Probably.
That's getting a little off topic. It seems today that people have a very difficult time looking beyond themselves, especially in LA and especially me. In a world that's all about the hustle, it feels so imperative to always be thinking about what one can be improving, or what the next move is or whatever.
And while I don't want to lose the new, goal-focusedness I've attained, I have got to stop being so insular. I'll become a really unpleasent guy if I continue to go that route, I think.