The Ten Step Method to Being Better

1. Just be better

2. Ask someone how to be better

3. Lay in bed, wondering how being better works

4. Watch Netflix, knowing you should be better

5. Journal about being better

6. Make a listacle about being better

7. Become butter because being butter is about a billion bastards bouncing on barnacle barbs more basic than being better and besides, butter bountifully bleeds blessedly blissful bouts of delectable… flavor. But being better would beget brainstorming syllables bargaining “B.” Balls.

8. Pet your cat, who then bites you. Tell your cat to be better

9. Realize everyone else can be better

10. Lay in bed some more and ponder really really hard about being better

But… butter…